Look up.
slow down.
humbly learn.
step by step.
Do/Walk, Libby DeLana
I first noticed I was looking down while walking when our city shut down due to the COVID pandemic in March, 2020. The week before I had experienced the most significant professional betrayal of my life. I was already thinly sheathed trying to build something that did not fit into any traditional boxes. With the unknown of the burgeoning pandemic, I was despondent and in hindsight in shock. The only thing I could think to do was to walk in nature.
I set out on my regular path. I noticed the stillness of a community new to “sheltering in place.” It was gray and misting. I felt the emotion well up in my soul and erupt into uncontrollable tears cascading down my face. I walked looking down in fear of making another misstep. I walked looking down in fear of looking anyone in the eyes. How could I trust another human?
I reached a point in the trail behind our house in which I could turn left or right. I intuitively decided left. I had my hood on and was . . . looking down with shame and fear.
In my fog of self-doubt, I failed to notice a gang of bikers approaching from the right and stepped in front of them. As they sped by navigating me, one of them yelled “you’re going to kill someone!” As I write this now that seems pretty dramatic. At the time it was a gut punch. “I could have killed someone” was all I could think. The measured cascade of tears turned to cleansing sobs and gasps. I vowed to always look up when I walked.
This became a practice of mine on my daily walks. I kept my eyes up and intentionally smiled at everyone who came my way. Some people easily smiled in return and others were harder to win over. Some I didn’t see ever again, but a few shared my path. There was the man in red. He walked every day, with a cane, and always in a red coat, a red hat, or red shorts. It took a few months, but after awhile he would grudgingly smile at me as I approached. I enjoyed “winning over” some of the more reluctant humans I came across during these tumultuous times.
Many months later, Alex Elle introduced me to Libby DeLana‘s book Do/Walk. I had been trending down – looking more at my unknown path rather than up to the possibilities of the expansive horizon. The uncertainty of my own body and physical pain weighted my head down to the ground. DeLana’s words, “Look up. Slow down. Humbly learn. Step by step” pulled me back up.
I continue to hear this mantra during my walks, in meetings and when I am most unsure . . . “look up, slow down, humbly learn, step by step.” There’s a rhythm, a cadence to the practice of moving forward, opening up and learning.
Thank you Alex. Thank you Libby DeLana!