I wrote this piece in Writing Circle and didn’t realize this was about leadership until a friend pointed it. She is right. This is the work of leadership: to remain human.
I have given up trying to figure out what type I am. I identify with every number on the enneagram though I am likely an achiever. I am not structure brain. I can never remember my 5 strengths. That an INFJ is the smallest percentage of the population has resonated with me the most but honestly, I’m not even sure those are the correct letters. I just feel deeply in my soul there aren’t many folk like me. But, I also haven’t met anyone who is like anyone else so really it just reminds me that it is okay for my circle to be small.
Who any of us are is reflected in the small mundane moments in life. I like to weed my garden – really I do. I find it satisfying to feel the earth, get my hands and feet dirty and yes, I like the sense of accomplishment. I also like lying in the sun reading a book. I am happiest when my family is buzzing about the house and I am writing or cooking. I love how my husband smells and am sad that he can no longer smell since he had COVID last year. My heart drops into my gut when my son is sick. Every year on my Dad’s birthday I worry someone will die. I can feel my daughter’s anxiety even when she is many states away. Who does this make me?
How different or the same are these things from what others feel? Is it what you would expect? What you need me to be?
I don’t think it matters what type any of us are when we are feeding babies, tending the garden or holding the hand of someone dying. These most precious moments are often the most defining moments of our lives and the sweetness of them make me so happy.
I was recently co-facilitating an Ally Healing Circle with my friend and colleague Candi Jones. She reminded us that we humans make things so complicated and said something so simple and so profound, “what would a human want?” I think we all just want to be seen. Not projected onto. Not labeled. Not judged. Just simply seen. When we can see ourselves honestly, we can see each other honestly. With this we can all lead.