“Another trip around the sun” people say. I imagine this like an infinity loop cycling through healing, grief, inviting/welcoming and celebrating. This seems a fitting journaling practice on your birthday, an anniversary date or really any time it speaks to you. Let us remember we cannot have healing with suffering or grief and we cannot celebrate what we have not invited in and welcomed.
I am healing . . . I am healing from the ghosts of my parents and their parents. I am healing from the dances their relationships took on and shaped my initial understanding of intimacy. I am physically healing. It is strange to heal and age at the same time, but isn’t that always true?
I am grieving . . . I am grieving the ‘what-ifs’ I am still trying to release. I am grieving the time lost to pain and bizarre illnesses and symptoms. I am grieving the relationships that evolved and moved on, the words not spoken and the words spoken. I am grieving the passing of time and the passing of loved ones.
I am inviting and welcoming . . . I am inviting and welcoming the wisdom and grace of aging. I do not need to hussle or juggle for you anymore. You may not even know who you are, but I do. I welcome knowing that I know so little and having the courage to still show up after all these years. I invite rest and laughter to feed my soul.
I am celebrating . . . I am celebrating today. I am celebrating the red sun rising behind the bare tree that reminds me of my youth thinking about my aging. I celebrate the many connections to cherished humans who make me feel seen and valued. I celebrate their gifts to me and others. I celebrate me for trying every day to make my small corner of the world a softer place for the people who enter it.